Diet #1789 by Alexandra Townsend

This was the 1,789th time my parents were going to lose weight. Which meant no carbs that week. No delicious bread or yummy pasta. The Italian in me started to wither. Can one survive without bread? Or maybe that month was no sugar. Damn, no candy or cake.

Either way, it meant dinner would be questionable. It would be something that I didn’t like. That, I could guarantee.

I came downstairs with dread. I looked at my mom and with a big, giant, shiny used car salesman’s smile she says, “Its Meatloaf” What? No pasta or buttered noodles. (Standard Russo fare in the 80’s)

I hate meat. It always makes me gag (insert gag face here) I have never had meatloaf and I know my life was better without it.
She says, “It is this great new recipe. Weight Watchers. It has apples in it.” Yeah, like that is going to seal the deal …

I love apples. They are my favorite food. I had apple buttons on my sweaters as a kid. Do you see where this is going?? I wasn’t fooled. This meal was going to suck.

She slices up this gray, yucky meat and there are all these colorful specks inside. Christ, this is really going to suck. Apples couldn’t save this. Chocolate and gummy bears couldn’t save this.

I take my first bite and I can’t control it. My mouth starts to water and my throat closes up. I am definitely going to puke. All of the sudden my mom looks at me. “You are ridiculous. It isn’t that bad.” My dad’s face starts to turn red and that vein in his forehead pulses. I know this isn’t going to end well. He is getting pissed!

He starts to yell and I don’t really remember what happens next. I probably blanked in fear! But I am pretty sure it was ugly. I am sure that, like a brat, I gagged and cried until I was sent to my room. This would, of course, get me out of eating the meatloaf.

All that matters is that to this day my mom still defends hat horrible meatloaf and I still stand by my gag face. It was awful.

Alexandra Townsend- I am not a writer, I just play one on TV. Not really, but I do love writing on my blog. I have been blogging for a couple of years now and I am officially hooked. Enjoy the ramblings of a slightly unstable person (I kid, I kid) by visiting http://runningjustasfast.blogspot.com.